getting back to myself.

Sometimes it feels like there is something haunting me....from the inside.
And it keeps asking me questions that I am not able to answer....because i don't know what the answer is.

It makes me think, ' Why can't I be stronger like I was used to be? '..

...and I'm searching myself...back again..but what I will finally found is-' I'm just lost! '

Sometimes I feel like to change myself...to make a change.
But at the end of the day, I feel like I am not me anymore...and I don't really like the way it feels.
I also realized that the change that I had made have nothing to do with myself..means there is nothing in return / the change is useless!

So, I make a decision.
I don't want to be a new person. Don't want to be the new me. Because I think my true self helps me more than the new 'stranger'-self of me that I don't really know who 'he' really is.
I don't hate 'him', but I just don't want to be 'him'. I want to be me. Because I prefer live my life being who I am rather than being a person that I SUPPOSED to be but 'He' don't really want me to be him. So I stop..and be me-the one that I know better and comfortable to be in and also prefer to live with.