Living Reality

Reality is hell. You can't get out of it.
Left alone alive.

30

sekurang-kurangnya kita kenal siapa diri kita,
sekurang-kurangnya kita kenal yang maha kuasa.

jangan biar mati nanti sia-sia.

hablun minnan nas

Syukur atas salah lalu yang tertebus. 

Terus memohon untuk yang masih belum. 

Mustahil elak yang mendatang, terus cuba untuk yang terpaling kurang.

red eye

i keep looking at the evening sun,

it looks reddish, in perfect circle,

low and a little above the horizon.

though i know it's not good for my eyes, i just keep looking.

i could be blinded by it,

but i keep looking

.

.

sunstruck

sightfucked.

. 

         

sucker punch

i used to tell myself to take life easily,
that i don't need to put too much pressure on myself.

just stay calm and let things happen,
just take a deep breath and relax,
this world is temporary and life is short,
nothing worth fighting for,

just live.

..

.

that was then, because it's easier that way.
maybe i need that calmness because it was a lot to life back then.
and that's the only mechanism that i can afford.
and also to avoid the thinking that i did not do the best,
and the feeling of disappointment when things turned out opposite of what i'd expecting.

i was neglecting my born with attribute,
i was discredit my urge to fight.

it has been years and i almost forgot what i really am,
i was too calm, yet i am not that.

now i think i had enough rest,
i had enough of wanting to settle down,
i had enough letting things happen by its own,
-
i want to take control.

because i was and am a fighter,
and also because i'm ready to back in fight.

validation of society?

Hidup harapkan puji,
Mati tak terpuas di hati.

There’s always a reason behind why people behave the way they did

Person A: I think you should change the way you live. Stop wasting your time on cats and start investing maybe?

Person B: I think you’re a hypocrite

Person A: And why is that?

Person B: Because you tell me to do this and that, but you’re also wasting your money and time on something you like..

Person A: Well...my situation is different. I’m afford. And if I am at your position, i would do what i said..

Person B: Well you’re not in my position.